Young Men Need Everyday Role Models

The Epstein fallout is a painful reminder why

You wouldn’t know it from the headlines, but young men’s life aspirations are fairly traditional. Most want what their parents and grandparents wanted: to build something, to contribute to their communities, to protect and provide for their families.

In Young Men Research Project’s (YMRP) May 2025 survey of 1,000 men aged 18-29, the most popular life goals were homeownership (78 percent said this is important to them), marriage (64 percent), and having children (63 percent). When asked to choose what qualities define a man, the most popular answer was ‘providing for your family,’ with ‘helping people who need it,’ and ‘being a father’ also landing towards the top. A negligible two percent of young men ranked ‘being wealthier than those around you’ in their top three qualities; only five percent selected ‘winning and being the best.

Indeed, the hallmarks of the American dream still hold weight for young men today, and most actually feel the dream is within reach. 57 percent said they believe they’ll be able to afford to raise children in the near future, and a similar percentage believes they’ll be able to afford a home.

And yet, a plurality of young men today report feeling financially unstable, per YMRP’s summer poll. No small wonder, when the median age of a first-time home buyer is now forty, student loan debt has spiked, and the job market for college graduates has nosedived.

There’s a down-to-earth, grounded optimism behind this contradiction. Sure, today might be hard. But there’s a cautious belief that things will get better. And for many, the evidence that things can get better often manifests in the wealthiest, most powerful faces in society.

—

The ‘self-made’ billionaires lionized in American culture offer vivid, viral proof that the old formula still works.

They embody the meritocracy young men want to believe in, even when these men often come from money. Many of these entrepreneurs speak to this deliberately – through motivational speeches, video guides, or self-aggrandizing podcast appearances.

It’s no surprise, then, that so many young men admire them. In the same YMRP survey, 59 percent of respondents familiar with Elon Musk said they liked him, and 65 percent of those familiar with Mark Cuban said they liked him. Cuban was among the more popular individuals polled. Behind “no particular career,” the most popular career aspiration was entrepreneur.

Yet as the Department of Justice continues releasing waves of the Epstein files, a new batch of notorious men are named in association with the disgraced financier seemingly every week. They are, in many cases, the very individuals young men wish to become.

Richard Branson – the billionaire often seen posing alongside luxury aircraft or Vegas showgirls – jokingly told Epstein to “bring his harem” to their next hangout. Bill Gates was mentioned in connection with a suggested extramarital affair in Epstein’s email drafts. Prince Andrew was arrested with suspicions of misconduct tied to Epstein. Reid Hoffman, Elon Musk, and Donald Trump are among the many billionaires who continued to interact with Epstein after his 2008 conviction. The names span academics, politicians, and celebrities, but they share a few things in common: incredible amounts of money and influence.

Equimundo’s 2025 State of American Men report found that among young men who voted for Trump in 2024, the main reason for going online was for advice on making money. Young Men Research Project’s polling confirms this appeal: these young men are more likely to admire individuals like Elon Musk and Andrew Tate who tout their riches, and to rank “entrepreneur” as a top career aspiration. But the same research shows these men are also more likely to inhabit a zero-sum view of the world – the belief that gains for one group (women, immigrants) come at the expense of another. Musk and Tate, of course, are among the figures most loudly vocalizing this argument.

–

Look at this cast of rich men and what you find, beneath the motivational sermons, is pure hypocrisy.

These are men who tout their hard work and grit, who’ve built empires around the language of ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ – and who, when push came to shove, stood by a known predator to protect their own interests. They exist in an entirely different reality from the men who admire them: one plagued by utter unaccountability, where the rules that the 99.9% live by simply don’t apply.

We’ve seen this story play out time and time again. The politician brought down by a sex scandal. The athlete whose off-field conduct erases everything he accomplished on the field. The CEO whose infidelity goes viral. The person we decided, as a society, to put on the pedestal turns out to be fallible after all – and occasionally, wielding that very pedestal to avoid accountability.

The Epstein files are, by any measure, a watershed moment – a devastating illustration of how unchecked male power and privilege can enable the most heinous abuses against women. To be sure, they may be the most extreme example. But this moment of cultural reckoning offers a painful reminder that every generation must learn again: wealth is not wisdom, and status does not equal success.

Young men deserve role models who speak to their aspirations – and reflect their cherished values. We must choose more carefully.

–

In a moment of darkness and a nation fractured by its politics, it’s easy to forget the decent people already around us.

The firefighters who rush to action without blinking, the nurse pulling a double shift, the teacher who stays late to explain the difference between ionic and covalent bonds, the small business owner who knows his customers by name and treats them with decency. They live and work around us, and they embody the very traits young men say they value most – honesty, community service, protection. They may not have an Aspen getaway. But chances are, they’re more fulfilled than the billionaires working around the clock, estranged from their families, whose sense of worth rises and falls with a stock price.

The pull towards those who’ve achieved more on paper is natural. It’s human. Boys growing up in the twentieth century surely idolized the business titans and athletic icons of their eras. But those boys were also embedded in institutions and community spaces that gave them access to local, palpable role models too – religious groups, Scout troops, afterschool sports leagues. Today, these same spaces have hollowed out, shuttered by rising costs, lack of investment, declining memberships, or simple neglect. As these anchors and groups have dissipated, so too has the access to mentors and everyday role models who often led them. In their place, boys and young men may turn to the most materially successful figures available – often, whoever’s at their fingertips. And we now see where this idolatry can lead.

The firefighter, the coach, the nurse, the teacher, the small businessman – this is not to say they are perfect. But when you’re embedded in your community, your reputation is built on how you actually treat people. Your weaknesses and virtues are more visible, more raw, which means the people around you can truly know you. There’s beauty in this.

It’s okay for boys and men to admire those who have reached the highest heights. Where we fall short is forgetting they’re human too. The role models this generation needs are already out there – they always have been.